I was at the book store the other day and the book, "Angels and Demons", caught my eye. My daughter, earlier that day, had given me a hard time at the store. I chuckled to myself, my little girl can be an "Angel" and sometimes she can act like a "Demon". Kids, how we love them, and how they make us loose our hair (I am needing to wear a hat in the sun more often). Since becoming a father and after 20 years of working with children, with multiple disabilities and behaviors, no disabilities, and all ages, I have come to the realization that talking with other parents can be helpful.
When it comes to behavior, with children, no one person has all the answers (surely not me). However, I have spent much of my life working with children and their not so good behaviors. Friends and family members often call me to ask about "What should I do when Johnny does____? I give some suggestions, and offer behavioral strategies and techniques. Hopefully some of my suggestions have been helpful.
In conclusion, in these difficult economic times, where therapist can cost $100 an hour, it would be nice to have a place to chat and brainstorm about our kids. TANTRUM TAMER IS THE PLACE.
So go ahead, all you parents, bring on your issues.
I will start everyone off,
Dear MIKE,......
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Dear Mike,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea. And I definitely can relate concerning 2 year olds. My daughter is two and she can be a handful sometimes. What do you do, or should I do when my child does something naughty, then looks at me, then laughs
sincerely,
the mom
Dear Mom,
ReplyDeleteDon't you hate when they do that? (sometimes it is hard not to laugh myself). But, seriously, I first use planned ignoring in situations like this. She is probably searching for attention We do not want to reinforce their negative behaivor. And if ignoring does not work, or she is being unsafe, it is time to set that BOUNDARY.
Great start Mike, what I did to post was join a 'group' this allows you to follow and comment on Blogs. I already had a google account for my blog. So this comment should go through.
ReplyDeleteDear Mike,
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is 9 and is mildly retarded and has temper tandums and bouts of crying whenever I say know. Sometimes she hits the couch or she throws something. It seems that she is starting to get physically violent. What can I do to help her stop this behavior.
NO! Tough word for kid to deal with. Yet they love to use it. Here are some quick preventions and interventions.
ReplyDeleteWHY IS SHE DOING THE BEHAVIOR?
Watch what is happening before the behaivor happens (tangible, attention seeking, escape, etc...) I your case, you say NO and she has the behaivor. This leads me to believe that she is doing it for TANGIBLE reasons (not getting what she wants, or wanting something).
PREVENTATIVE STEPS:
1. Make sure she understands the Rules of house*
2. Use Ignoring*. Ignoring is a great intervention. For example, when she hits the couch, as long as she is not hurting herself, I would suggest ignoring it. We call this planned ignoring.
3. Redirection.* Refocus your child. Do this by asking questions, giving her something to hold, change the environment, etc... Redirect when you see her getting agitated.
4. Reinforce. Reinforce her for positive behavior and following your directions. Use a token economy, earning points or stickers, to reinforce this positive behaivor.
5. Little Verbal. Give littlet verbabl input when she is having a tantrum (don't talk a lot). Be stern but, controlled when you interact verbally.
6. BE CONSISTENT AND FOLLOW THROUGH. If you are consistent in your intervention, the behaviors will decrease quicker.
INTERVENTION:
(Throwing Objects)
-Say, "If you throw again, you will loose a priviledge".
-Make sure she picks up what she throws.
-Let her know that she may not earn her point.
-Redirect
(Aggression)
-Aggression cannot and should not be tolerated.
-Redirect her
-Tell her she will not earn a point.
-Keep her and everyone safe.
-remove her from the environment if necessary.
-Remain in controll.
-Be consistent.
Finally, replace the word with "NO" with a more positive pharse, like, please stop.
TO MOM: take some deep breaths, and good luck.
MIKE
-Later make sure to talk about the incident